Hello All! Its been quite sometime since I have updated. Thanks to a dear friend who mentioned how awesome I am at it, was I prompted to keep up with it!
We are currently pregnant again! Our Rainbow baby is due December 9, 2011 (baby was originally due on Moriah's birthday December 3). Of course we are over the moon and extremely terrified. After the loss of our dear angel we are plagued with the fear of pre-term labor and the loss of this miracle. On top of everything, I am alone. Aaron was deployed May 11, 2011 for seven months, due back in December. More then likely he will miss the birth of our miracle. But even more honestly- my heart fears of a loss I will have to endure without him, a loss we will both have to endure separately. He would never get to hold our miracle or see him/her for himself if anything should happen. I am absolutely terrified of that. I often pray "O.K God, here is your chance to show everyone you work miracles, everyones watching us and following this journey- it your chance to win hearts over to you. O.K God, I'm all alone here. Follow through for us and this miracle- you blessed us once again you can do anything. For my husbands sake alone (take me out of it) he has to see a happy baby when he returns. We can't lose baby again and be apart." I am often terrified of baby being a boy. Aaron has wanted a little man for quite some time and I am so scared i'll find out baby is a boy, no pressure. Aaron was so upset losing Moriah, I can't imagine him doing any better with losing a son. Just bearing my soul for you all here... Each day is a trusting faith filled journey! Doctor and I have a plan and progesterone injections weekly and bi-weekly cervix checks are the plan starting in two weeks.
A vacation is soon to come, June 2-13 I will be heading home to see my lovely family and attend my cousins wedding. I will be back in time to make my routine 2 week check-ups throughout the second trimester. End of June early July brings us to finding out the sex of baby :)
So much is going on, and I am really overjoyed to have been given such blessings! Despite the massive fear, my heart is full of faith and prayer for our crazy future headed for us before the years out!
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